By Catherine Namugerwa
Domestic violence can have far-reaching effects on victims beyond the physical pain. For women, it has the potential to damage mothering so severely that it may have long-term effects on both the mother and the child. When women realize their children are suffering, they often place the blame on themselves, which can erode their confidence in their capacity to be parents.
Mothers who experience frequent abuses and insults begin to doubt their own competence, abilities, and self-worth. Men who are abusive may also make explicit criticisms of their partner’s parenting abilities, which further harms the victim.
Annet Asasira, 35, is a single mother whose daughter is suffering from Spina Bifida. The mother of three, a resident of Bwenkoma B village, Mwizi Sub-county in Mbarara District, ran away from her home after her husband started violating her on a daily basis. Asasira says that the abuse started after she gave birth to her second child, who was born with Spina Bifida.
She narrates her ordeal: “When I gave birth to my second born, [my husband and I] were on good terms but after [he realized] that our daughter has Spina Bifida, everything turned [upside down]. He ran away from his responsibilities; I faced domestic violence that was unbearable.”
She explains that she endured domestic violence on a daily basis until she reached a point when she could not bear it anymore. She had to leave her husband for the sake of her safety and that of their children.
“At some point I had nothing and I requested him to give me some plot of land so that I could build a house for my children [but] he refused. All he did was beating me up until I was left unconscious and his father took me to the hospital. I was bedridden for some time, his relatives hated me and my sick child, I faced a lot of stigma,” she explains.
She adds: “When I decided to report the issue to the local leader, he advised me to abandon my children and run away. I decided not to leave my children behind. I rented a house where I stayed with all my children,” she says.
Asasira left her marriage due to the domestic violence plus stigma but she is still facing similar challenges even after she left. She has currently failed to pay her rent for three months and her child faces stigma. The child reports being constantly abused in the neighbourhood and subjected to stigma.
Opinion leaders in Mbarara have noted that there has been a lot of domestic violence and divorce cases as a result of couples getting a child with Spina Bifida. Reports show that the rate of separation in families with a child with disabilities may be as high as 87%.
When a child is born with Spina Bifida, at times there are increased cases of domestic violence. Often, the child is abandoned by either the mother or the father or is stigmatized by the extended family and community.
According to Dr Aron Ndyowaawe, a therapist working with Organized Useful Rehabilitation Services [OURS] program at Ruharo Mission Hospital, most patients he handles come with one parent.
“So many families look at a child born with this disease as a curse and in most cases the mother is blamed and because of that problems related to domestic and gender based violence arise. There are cases when women report such cases to their local council leaders but they hardly get help from there,” he says.
He adds that domestic violence further exposes the children trapped in such homes to harmful effects of domestic violence.
Dr Ndyowaawe adds that such children get many complications and they will need long-term services. If the child is abandoned, there are high chances of that child getting other complications, which can compromise their health further.
ABOUT SPINA BIFIDA
Spina bifida is a condition that affects the spine and is usually apparent at birth. It is a type of neural tube defect (NTD).
Spina bifida can happen anywhere along the spine if the neural tube does not close all the way. When the neural tube doesn’t close all the way, the backbone that protects the spinal cord doesn’t form and close as it should. This often results in damage to the spinal cord and nerves.
Spina bifida might cause physical and intellectual disabilities that range from mild to severe. The severity depends on:
The size and location of the opening in the spine.
Whether part of the spinal cord and nerves are affected.
